I’m scared to die. I think about death a lot of times. It’s like the thought of my mortality comes up randomly during the day. Days I be scared of the afterlife not knowing if I’ll be good enough to fit into heaven or evil enough to survive hell. These are places they say everybody are suppose to spend eternity. Don’t know if I believe it too much. It be days I think about not being able to accomplish my goals and aspirations. Or even just losing everything I own. I seen the meme of the U-Haul not following the hearse. Then it’s days I think I might be a light in people life. So if I die they might be overwhelmed by darkness. Selfish of me to think that way. Death gives me a fear that shakes my soul. Death will come. I know because I’m a warrior, and death is guarantee for warriors. I just ask myself when I face death that I smile. Just to let death know that it is an honor and I am happy to be here. So don’t get mad at me for fighting to live when you think it is me living to fight.
I be feeling like I be fumbling the opportunities and blessings from God. Saying this because I see opportunities I want all the time, and yet, I be unprepared for them. When I pray it sound as if I sure am ready. Not going to trip off miss opportunities. It tells me is that I got to be better prepared.
All this because I seen a bronze beauty today that I wasn’t ready to put the Mack down on. I’m with Bun B, and promising never to leave the house without my pimping again. I did not have no conversation but I wanted to talk to her. Get to know her privately. This a big city so the odds of me running into this bronze beauty again are slim. I seen her trying to catch the train. She was noticeable because her friend noticed me first. I felt eyes on me. I look around and seen two chicks with one looking at me. This was the friend of the bronze beauty looking at me. The friend said something to the bronze beauty. “Girl, look at this fine piece of man walking towards us. One look gonna have you dripping with excitement.” She didn’t say that. Don’t have a single clue what she said to make bronze beauty look. I just know when bronze beauty looked at me I felt she wanted me. Just another one of them missed opportunities.
Lately I’ve been watching a show called Tokyo Revengers. It’s about a boy name Takemitchi who is a social loser. When he thinks he dies in a freak accident he goes back in time to change his present. Dope story to me. Sometimes I wish I can go back to being a kid again too. It reminds me of a Big KRIT song. Then you realize you can neva go back but it a be cool to see.
This is like my war journal. My war journal post is to keep you updated on my business and me. I’m treating business like war and I am the commander of my army. Been hearing that business students read the Art of War by Sun Tzu as recommended reading. That tells me that business takes the strategy and tactic of an army general. Also, I am a student of warfare. Constantly I look for ways to make myself a better tactician and stategist. Don’t get me wrong I am an amateur to war. I’ve only experienced it through media. Plus I’m learning what is the meaning of being a true warrior. I’m here to build an empire with my business with me as the head. So if I will fight for the success of my company and Negus is at the top.
One of my main priorities is quieting that negative voice in my head. The one that tells me that I am not good enough or to quit. I’m tired of listening to it. It is supposed to be part of me but that voice doesn’t want to see me winning. Always wanting me to fall short and give up. It makes me see an enemy of myself when I know I got to be on my side more than ever in this time. I call it the voice of fear because it only speaks when I want to be better and do better. I’ve experienced a calm mind so you can’t blame me for wanting one.
Sitting here thinking about money and ways to become a money master. I have been broke for so long that I’m starting to think that money isn’t everything. Henry Ford once said, “If money is your hope for independence you will never have it.” Maybe he was right but Jay-Z said, “financial freedom is my only hope.” I want to be rich already. Minimum wages are no way to live. I need to be more smart when it comes to making this money.
At my current job I notice how the customers try to little man me. They know I’m not the boss so they make it be known. Saying stuff like “where is the boss” or “the main person knows”. The thing with these comments is the customers know the manager name like I know the manager name. Way too go for the customers because they got me to think of myself as inferior. Now I got to start volunteering my manager name when they out here trying to little man me. The boss name is John Joseph, and no he is not here. I wouldn’t have cared if these were fresh customers but these loyal customers. My ego is screaming don’t let them little man you as a small voice says let it slide. I’m a listen to my ego.
It took me the last week of summer to let me know I am not as smooth as I think I am. Summer 2021 I been trying to be a smooth operator, and this is not my first summer trying to be the smooth operator. This is the summer I’m tired of not being smooth though. You got to understand that 2021 brought the ladies out. I’m talking ladies with they legs out, wearing sundresses, wearing no bra, looking and smelling good. Being inside last year made the ladies want to come out and show out this year. Yet I wasn’t able to get a single number, no date, no sex, or a chick who wanted to only kiss the tip of my dick. I need to do better at being a smooth mack.
If you really give it some thought; Batman is an enforcer for a family business. Bruce Wayne is a capitalist. He is a person that is money-motivated. A dude of wealth and taste too. All he is doing is protecting his business Wayne Enterprise. Gotham City is where the headquarters of his businesses are at. So if the crimes take over the city they will take over his power and wealth. So he got to fight them off because nobody can do it for him other than him. The Gotham City Police already caught up fighting little crimes to be protecting a rich man’s business. Boom, here comes Batman. A mysterious figure that nobody knows is tied to Wayne Enterprises. Then he got competition with other people like Lex Crop. So why not become friends with Superman. Bruce Wayne is smart.
I got to work on my storytelling if I really want to make this humorist thing work.